Sometimes You Have to Agree to Disagree

I used to trust doctors. Until I started doing things like researching on the internet and watching shows like Mystery Diagnosis. Now, I feel that the profession is just like any other--filled with the good, the bad, and the completely incompetent.

Having my son come early left me without a pediatrician lined up for his care. I hastily agreed to see one that came very highly recommended by a family member. Let's just say it was not love at first sight. That first meeting was rather disappointing. I was in my hospital room when he came to see me. I had no questions for him other than his opinion on vaccinations. I really wanted to feel him out on this issue having just done a bunch of research myself. He told me, "I hope you haven't read The Vaccine Book." Really?! He went on, "I just skimmed through it, but it's not a good book." I questioned him about the studies citied in the book. "All those are bad studies," he said. Really? All of them? I'm so sure he actually went out and read every single one, especially since he admitted to not even reading the book itself. Red flag, right there. However, he was very kind and I got the feeling he was a very gentle and caring physician. And, he is. He is just not right for our family.

Throughout the last 15 months we have had various differences of opinion. On certain issues I remained silent, such as co-sleeping, but on others I couldn't help but to speak out. We disagreed about many things, including vaccinations, iron supplementation in an exclusively breastfed baby, and most recently, the care of a natural (uncircumcised) penis. There was never a raised voice or angry tone, just uncomfortable conversation and a general feeling of conflict.

At our last visit, we argued about at what average age a boy's foreskin will naturally become retractable. Predictably, neither side budged. This was brought up after he held my son's penis and manipulated the foreskin so he could see the urethra and size of the foreskin opening. He did not tell me he was going to do this, and he did not offer any explanation as to why it was medically relevant. Everything I have read about the foreskin has told me that this is completely unnecessary. Of course, he wouldn't listen to me as I tried to explain to him my reason for concern. He tried to tell me that it was necessary to wash the end of the glans, and when I told him I did not believe that was true, he then thought I was somehow talking about lifting the penis to clean between it and the scrotum. Really, I don't know how he could have thought that's what I meant. Conversations like that always happened. Either he didn't like what I was saying and tried to twist my words, or truly believed I was that dumb. I never felt like he even listened to anything I said, or gave me any credibility whatsoever as a rational, educated adult.

After this visit I was determined that I could somehow educate him with the knowledge that I have on the subject. I also wanted to validate my argument. I dropped off an envelope with information about the average age of natural foreskin separation along with a letter which stated he was not to touch my son's penis without my permission. Two weeks later I received a certified letter stating that he was terminating our physician-patient relationship.

I had never been anything but kind to this man, and I feel that he just did not want to enter into any kind of discussion. All I ever wanted to do was to have a rational, meaningful conversation. I felt like he wanted nothing to do with any opinion that wasn't his and didn't respect me enough to even listen.

A Link a Day: How to Choose a Pediatrician

How to Choose a Pediatrician

"Most pediatricians offer free interviews, although some may charge for this preliminary visit."

This is something that I never knew you could do. I think it is important that you entrust the healthcare of your child to not only someone you trust, but someone who you feel comfortable with. Someone you can engage in conversation easily with, and who understands your perspective and concerns.

I am always on the fence about changing pediatricians. I probably should trust my gut and see someone else. This is partly because I didn't interview and seek out several candidates, and also because my son was premature and I hadn't had a doctor lined up for him.

Anyway, I think the most important tip to take away from this is to be comfortable with your pediatrician. You can't get optimal care for your child if you feel shy or ignored by your doctor.

A Link a Day: Pitocin Side Effects

Pitocin Side Effects 

"Neonatal seizures and permanent CNS or brain damage has been reported."

 Like all drugs, there are risks as well as benefits. Now, I admit I did point out the most disturbing side effect in the list. My point is that no drug taken during labor (or ever, really) should be taken LIGHTLY. I declined pitocin both before and after the birth of my child. I must add that I was educated on natural birth and knew that it was most certainly not necessary in my case. There are times when pitocin is warranted, but don't believe that there are no risks to using it, even if you are told otherwise.

Pitocin can lead to what has been coined the "cascade in intervention." It causes more intense contractions that the uterus normally experiences, more intense than the baby normally experiences. This can cause fetal distress and lead to an emergency c-section.

A Link a Day: Amniotic-fluid embolism and medical induction of labour

Amniotic-fluid embolism and medical induction of labour

"Medical induction of labour seems to increase the risk of amniotic-fluid embolism. Although the absolute excess risk is low, women and physicians should be aware of this risk when making decisions about elective labour induction." 

The overall risk of AFE is very low, it can easily fatal if not properly diagnosed. One easy way of reducing the risk is to avoid unnecessary inductions. According to this study, the risk of AFE was DOUBLED when the mother was induced.

Unnecessary, convient, scheduled, and (more common than you might think) induction proceedures used DURING labor (which my "doctor" ordered for me but I refused, and consented to by a friend of mine during her labor) can be harmful and even fatal to the mother or baby. Babies need to cook as long as is healthy for them and their mother.

A Link a Day: Teething May Not Be Linked to Fever

Teething May Not Be Linked to Fever

"In a safety announcement from April 2011, the FDA states that over-the-counter gels and liquids with the ingredient benzocaine should not be used on children under age 2" 

Ok, so the quote really doesn't relate to the title, but I did want to point it out.

I know that my son's pediatrician would tell me in a heartbeat that any slight fever without other symptoms would be attributed to teething. Now there is some proof that may not be the case. In the study mentioned, no babies recorded a temperate high enough to be considered a fever even though each baby gained on average five teeth.

Give it about 5 years or so before this information disseminates throughout the medical community and they believe it enough to change their minds about causes of infant fever and symptoms of teething.

Mothering

Being a mom hasn't changed me as much as I thought it might. I'm still the same person, I just hang out a lot with this really tiny person.

I've always been stubborn, almost to a fault. When I'm right, I'm right, and if you disagree, I will do everything in my power to convince you.

This may or may not be a good quality for a parent. I tend to judge other's parenting (who doesn't, be honest) even though I know I shouldn't. I tend to think other people have pediatritians that are morons. I think a lot of doctors are morons.

Mostly, I think it comes down to a dislike of the sheeplike nature of so many people. I mean, it is sad you can't just blindly follow a doctor and have the best care. Really sad. I spend my hours online researching anything and everything I can about babies. I want the best for my son, and I want to KNOW that his doctor and I are making the best decisions for him. I have the facts to back up my opinions. I question just about everything. In the end, I only have myself to blame, but at least I am taking responsibility in to my own hands.

/End Rant

Wow, I do tend to ramble on from one topic to another. No offense to the medical community, I know that there are varying optinions on many topics, and I respect different views. I just want to know all options, all sides, and make my own decision. I know I don't have a medical license, but I just want to be able to have a two-sided conversation with a doctor. I want to be educated.