No One to Blame

There has been an awful lot of anger running through my mind lately. Frustrating anger that cannot be directed at any particular person. Anger about my husband's circumcision.

I am angry that I have not been able to experience natural sex with a normal penis.

I am angry that I am reluctant to have sex with my husband since becoming aware of the purpose and anatomy of the foreskin.

I am angry that every time I look at his penis I see it as damaged.

I am angry that this surgery was done without his consent.

I am angry that he doesn't agree with me that it is unnecessary.

I am angry that I feel unwilling to broach the subject with him because I don't want him to become sad or angry over what he is missing.

I am angry that countless other boys and men will have to deal with this injustice until we successfully put an end to this barbaric practice.

I am angry that I have no one to blame.

I cannot blame my husband, the choice was not his.

I cannot blame his parents, they were told it was beneficial for him.

I cannot blame the doctor who performed the surgery, he was no doubt convinced it was beneficial.

I feel lost in this circle of anger.  Anger without a face.

But I will move on. I have to move on. For all the little boys out there that I can help. All the minds I can free from the misinformation and misguided advice. I will fight to put an end to this cycle of abuse.

Vacay

I will be out of town for a week starting Wednesday, so I probably won't have any posts then. Also, I was gone over the weekend, hence no posts then either...

Cheers.

A Link a Day: The Joy of Cloth Diapers

From Mothering Magazine

"...even in an environmentally conscious town like Boulder, Colorado, I'm surprised at how few parents use cloth."

Interested in cloth diapers? Need something to convince you to take the plunge? This is a great article that compares the pros and cons, including the environmental impact of both cloth and disposables.

Just like this author, I feel that cloth diapering is just a natural extension of my generally crunchy (natural) parenting and living.

I've been told I am "brave" to cloth diaper, and I've also surprised a few, and gotten some funny looks from others. But, I can tell you I feel great that I do it, and I would never choose sposies (disposables).

My K.I.S.S. Baby Theory

There are only four rules:

1. If baby is hungry (rooting, fists in mouth, etc.), feed him.
2. If baby is wet/soiled, change him.
3. If baby cries, pick him up (and probably nurse him).
4. If baby is tired (rubbing eyes, getting crabby), put him down (nurse or rock to sleep if necessary).

That's it.  Happy baby.

A Link a Day: Letting Baby "Cry-It-Out" Yes, No!

Ask Dr. Sears

"...not listening and responding sensitively to baby's cries is a lose-lose situation: Baby loses trust in caregivers and caregivers lose trust in their own sensitivity."

As a mother, I know that every time my newborn cried I got a huge knot in my stomach. Sometimes, I even felt nauseous. How any mother can ignore these feelings is beyond me.

I see a lot of people in our society who are convinced that babies are manipulative from birth and that you can only do harm by soothing their whines and cries. It is so engraved in our culture to resist the natural nurturing instinct that we need to care for our babies.

Every time I see a baby in public I secretly pray that it doesn't cry so I don't have the chance to witness the mother ignoring it.

A Link a Day: ‘Babywise’ Linked to Babies' Dehydration, Failure to Thrive

From: peaceful parenting

"On Becoming Babywise, has raised concern among pediatricians because it outlines an infant feeding program that has been associated with failure to thrive (FTT), poor weight gain, dehydration, breast milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning."

I did glance through this book once a couple of weeks ago. Definitely contrary to any advice I would give to a new mother. Babies are not all identical, you can't just fit them into the same mold.

After all I have heard and read about this book, I was almost sick when I saw several copies of it prominently displayed at Babies 'R Us.

To anyone considering this book: Put it down and just listen to your baby.

A Link a Day: How to Choose a Pediatrician

How to Choose a Pediatrician

"Most pediatricians offer free interviews, although some may charge for this preliminary visit."

This is something that I never knew you could do. I think it is important that you entrust the healthcare of your child to not only someone you trust, but someone who you feel comfortable with. Someone you can engage in conversation easily with, and who understands your perspective and concerns.

I am always on the fence about changing pediatricians. I probably should trust my gut and see someone else. This is partly because I didn't interview and seek out several candidates, and also because my son was premature and I hadn't had a doctor lined up for him.

Anyway, I think the most important tip to take away from this is to be comfortable with your pediatrician. You can't get optimal care for your child if you feel shy or ignored by your doctor.

A Link a Day: 15 Helpful Tips For a Cesarean Birth

15 Helpful Tips For A Cesarean Birth

"Do NOT feel like a failure. You are a mother and just created a beautiful life!" 

  Being involved in the natural birthing world, there certainly is a lot of pressure put on women to have a vaginal birth. We need to also be supportive of women who need to birth via cesarean.

These tips are great for anyone, regardless of birth plan.