No One to Blame

There has been an awful lot of anger running through my mind lately. Frustrating anger that cannot be directed at any particular person. Anger about my husband's circumcision.

I am angry that I have not been able to experience natural sex with a normal penis.

I am angry that I am reluctant to have sex with my husband since becoming aware of the purpose and anatomy of the foreskin.

I am angry that every time I look at his penis I see it as damaged.

I am angry that this surgery was done without his consent.

I am angry that he doesn't agree with me that it is unnecessary.

I am angry that I feel unwilling to broach the subject with him because I don't want him to become sad or angry over what he is missing.

I am angry that countless other boys and men will have to deal with this injustice until we successfully put an end to this barbaric practice.

I am angry that I have no one to blame.

I cannot blame my husband, the choice was not his.

I cannot blame his parents, they were told it was beneficial for him.

I cannot blame the doctor who performed the surgery, he was no doubt convinced it was beneficial.

I feel lost in this circle of anger.  Anger without a face.

But I will move on. I have to move on. For all the little boys out there that I can help. All the minds I can free from the misinformation and misguided advice. I will fight to put an end to this cycle of abuse.